


Communication

by Townycod13



Series: The Problem with Fantasy [2]
Category: South Park
Genre: M/M, Sequel, super dumb omg im sorry i wrote this, supposed to be fluffy but its just silly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-16
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-03-19 09:11:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13701390
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Townycod13/pseuds/Townycod13
Summary: Sequel-thing to 'The Trouble With Royalty'.Kyle sucks at communication. In his defense, so does Kenny.





	Communication

Having a Queen for a baby sister is a trip.

For starters, it's very hard to pull the age card when she literally outranks you and has a personal guard.

And Kenny loved his sister, unconditionally and continually, but it was still a bit of a pain in the ass to get bossed around.

That wasn't entirely fair to her. Karen rarely, if ever, pulled the rank card. She would ask him most everything and he would obey unthinkingly with whatever she wanted purely because she had him wrapped around her finger.

Well, aside from one particular issue.

"For the last time, I am not going to visit the dumb elves in their dumb trees with their dumb king."

By this time it was an old argument, aged at least a few weeks, but Karen didn't open her mouth this time. Her stare was level and just a _little_ evil.

She smiled finally and Kenny realized too late he should probably have made a run for it.

With a daintily raised hand, she snapped her fingers.

Kenny could, in probability, have fought off being shoved into a literal sack. Could have. If he hadn't been giving his sister his best Disapproving Older Brother look.

" _Really_?"

She only smiled in return. 

\--

Three months. Kyle paced the room to ward off some of his energy.

Three months since the whirlwind two weeks that had changed his life completely.

Stan was staring at him lazily from his seat, "What's got you so nervous? I thought you said you, and I quote, 'don't like him, never liked him, just respect him, am not nervous, stop asking me, Stan or I swear to god--' etcetera."

Kyle pinned his long-time friend with a Look, "I'm _not_ nervous. I'm just _thinking_."

"You've been pacing in silence for almost two hours." Stan shrugged, "What are you _thinking_ about then?"

Kyle reminded himself, not for the first time, that he liked having his childhood friend as his personal guard. It was a friendly and easy relationship. That sending Stan down to the stables to become a royal shit shoveler would be petty and an abuse of his power.

He breathed in heavily and let out a long breath, "I'm a bit confused. I don't understand why he would be coming to visit. He made it quite clear--I just don't get why he would come here."

"Worried about the conversation he totally overheard? Or is it the fact that he that he laughed so hard over it that he ripped his stitches and didn't wake up again the entire rest of the time we were there?"

Stan, good, wonderful, understanding, kind Stan. He would make an _exceptional_ addition to the stables.

Kyle's expression felt stiff, "It's reasonable I might be. If that's the last thing he heard from me he might have misunderstood me. I remember requesting the Queen be sure to correct any misconceptions but... she does seem to have his penchant for mischief."

His barely-retaining-a-job companion and friend didn't seem to see a problem, "If that's all you're worried about you can just correct him yourself. No biggie."

" _Big-biggie_ , Stan! He probably wouldn't even say anything or maybe he's coming specifically to 'let me down in person' or--I don't even _know_ what he's planning! I could never figure out what was going on in that damn head of his!"

He flopped down on the chair across from Stan, legs aching a bit from the abuse. Stan was still amused by the situation but Kyle knew from experience it was only a matter of time before his friend got tired of the repetitiveness of the problem.

Stan's motto in life seemed to be 'if there's a problem, solve it. if you can't solve it, live with it'. He didn't do well with Kyle's preferred method of talking about the problem in endless circles until finally he felt okay inside.

Speaking of amusement, the jerk was holding back some laughter.

"What?" Kyle snapped.

"I just think it's weird that you claim to know exactly how he feels but you also don't know what's going on inside his head? That's a bit of a jump, Kyle."

He rubbed his forehead in frustration, "Because he _told_ me. Rather explicitly and repeatedly. What the hell would he think of me if he thought I had a damn crush?!"

"What exactly is the problem if he _does_ think you have a crush?"

The stables would welcome him with open arms, Kyle's mind sang like a temptress, "We knew each other for maybe two weeks, and that's being generous and including time he spent stuck in a jail cell _because of me_ and getting tortured. It would be weird if I liked him."

"Why?"

"Why are you so inquisitive about this?" Kyle finally snapped, glaring at his friend. He _should_ be grateful for Stan's patience on the matter but it grated all his wrong nerves.

Stan squirmed uncomfortably and Kyle's eyes narrowed, "Who put you up to this?"

Stan sighed, "It totally doesn't count as treason if it's a favor for Karen, right?"

...it might get him a job in the stables, Kyle thought bitterly.

Instead of saying that he sighed, "Why would she want you to ask me about _that_."

"Well," Stan scratched his head, clearly feeling a little guilty for spilling on the Queen, "I think she thinks he likes you too."

" _What_." 

\--

_Patience is a virtue that one should strive for. Kyle reminded himself for what must have been the millionth time. It was a bit redundant at this point; he knew he was never going to have that particular virtue._

_Kenny didn’t make it easy either. Sniping at every opportunity. That wasn’t as bad as the silences though._

_He’d lapse into extended silences and glare at Kyle like no tomorrow if he piped up a word._

_This was another one of those stretches of silence and it was_ cold _. Kyle tried not to let his teeth chatter. He’d be able to disguise the sound if they were talking but no, Kenny had a stick up his ass about conversation. Really, Kyle couldn’t see any of the cheerful guy Bebe had described back at the pub._

 _Was this how Kenny_ really _was or was it just an expression of how deep his hatred for royalty was? It wasn’t his business, he knew, but he was nosy by nature._

_He wouldn’t ask though. It would just result in more difficulties._

_He wished they could at least start a fire. They were too close to a town that they couldn’t alert to their presence apparently._

_It would be less mortifying if Kenny didn’t seem absolutely fine with the cold even though Kyle was draped in the man's coat._

_Logically it made sense. His ears still needed to be hidden even if they were seemingly alone. It still made him feel like the royal prissy that Kenny accused him of being when he shivered and chattered while Kenny wasn’t and showed no outward signs of discomfort._

_Without a word, Kenny stood up and walked over, seating less than an inch away and leaning close enough his shoulder was touching._

_Warmth crept from the breathing source, just barely tickling his sides and making the cold just a bit bearable._

_Kenny only scoffed in such a mocking way that words were unneeded._

_Kyle seethed. How the hell could someone be so fucking kind, selfless, and morally upright while being_ such _an asshole…?!_

 _It was as though even Kenny’s own prejudices and feelings of loathing couldn’t stop him from being an upstanding human being. The people that did indeed have this man's love and loyalty were lucky._  

\--

The carriages arriving were grand and showed off a splendor that Kyle was completely confident would piss off the passenger. Everything from the gold trim, the escorts, the horses, and even the saddles screamed _royal_ and _class disparity_ perfectly.

Kyle half wondered how Kenny had been forced into such a carriage.

For a moment his heart stuttered, what if they hadn't gotten Kenny into that carriage? What if the message he'd received from the Keep was in error and this was not the visit he'd anticipat--

He cleared his throat uncomfortably, displeased with the amount of disappointment had built within him for that instance. He reminded himself that it really didn't matter if Kenny had come or not. It was probably better if he hadn't.

Stan and the Queen had to be mistaken but their awkward and heavy-handed attempts at playing matchmaker were a thing he would rather avoid.

He wondered if Kenny knew that was why he was here. How did _he_ feel about his sister trying to push him towards some foreign king that he hated.

Kyle was sure he could think of a few choice words Kenny would use.

Some of which he could hear coming from the carriage now.

"Mother _fucker_ , that was a long fucking trip. Can I get out of this ridiculous box of stupidity _now_? Oh, it's okay now? Wasn't okay a few miles ago?"

The sarcastic rant went on for awhile and Kyle was sure that whoever Karen had appointed as her brothers babysitter probably had the patience of the gods if it had been like this the entire trip.

The cussing didn't last too much longer before the carriage door burst open, so purposefully rude and out of place in the picturesque scenery. Kyle felt his lips curve despite himself.

"Damn, pieces of shit... you were _so_ much cooler in the old days, Jimmy." the voice was clearer sounding now that the door was open and Kyle wanted to crane his neck to see the occupants. He restrained himself.

"W-wo-wow, that's quite a statement." his companion stuttered in response, a sort of sharp wit to his tone that informed Kyle there might be an inside joke at foot here.

Before Kyle could ponder on it more, the long awaited guest hopped out of the carriage gracefully, completely ignoring the step ladder provided, and took his time to straighten himself while grumbling.

Kyle felt his breath catch at the sight.

Even when they were at odds he'd always found Kenny to be an attractive person. From the first moment when he'd woken up to a heavily burned man saving his life with an honestly impressive stamina and inner strength up to moments with skirts and bows. Instances of weakness where his eyes had been like a still depth of a lake or the raging rapids of a waterfall. Moments when the quirk of his lips had been too loose and telling, transforming the grim expression he wore around Kyle into something soft and sweet. The lean muscles and flirtatious winks. The golden sparkle of sunlit hair.

Kyle _knew_ he'd found the man attractive. Known from early on in their companionship. That was _precisely_ why he had assumed he would be prepared for this.

What he had _missed_ was the entire time he'd known the blond man they'd been on a nonstop marathon for their lives and the fate of nations. Kenny had been attractive while covered in dirt and grime, bruises and burns. His grin had shown through mud like a beacon.

Kyle was a _bit_ of a neat freak though and if he were honest about his own tastes, he normally preferred something a bit more clean-cut.

Like the man before him. The one who had caught sight of his gaping and was giving him a puzzled frown. The one that was dressed in flattering clothes and didn't have a speck of dirt on him.

"You alive in there, Kyle?"

To Stan's credit, his voice was quiet enough of a whisper that he wasn't being _immediately_ sent to the stables. The knowing tone on the other hand was going to cost his friend later.

"Oi! Kingy! You gonna stand there all day gaping or are you going to say hello?" Kenny's hands were on his hip and there was a smirk on his lips and _this man would be the death of him_.

Kyle put on a tight smile, "I told you I would prefer not to be called that."

Kenny's response was interrupted by the sound of his babysitter getting out of the carriage, without hesitation and immediately disregarding Kyle, Kenny went to help out.

He felt bitter at clearly being ignored for all of two seconds before he noticed the companion had trouble walking and was thereby in need of the assistance. He swallowed that guilt and hoped that Stan hadn't noticed.

Kenny's voice rang out again, clear and light, Kyle liked the sound, "This is Jimmy. Stan, do me a solid and make friends with Jimmy so that he stops _nagging_ me."

"Th-that's ra-raa-rich coming from you, K-Kenny." there was a familiarity to the tone and Kyle wondered if the two of them had a strong history.

Why did Kenny have a strong history with so many damn people anyway?

Stan at least didn't seem to mind, joining the conversation readily, "Much as Jimmy seems like a nice guy, I'm not doing you any favors until you apologize for punching me."

Kenny's laughter was so boyishly delighted, "Oh my god, are you _actually_ upset over that? I thought Kingy and Wendy already told you, it was your own damn fault for saying such a misleading name at that timing! What did you _think_ was going to happen?"

Was Kenny always this light-hearted? He'd seen pieces of this around Tammy but it still made him uneasy. The man he'd met had been so angry and--

Wait a moment. How did Kenny know he'd said that to Stan? That had been said while he was still asleep, hadn't it? Had Karen told him? Why would she pass on such a mundane detail?

Kyle tried fervently to remember the conversation they'd had above the seemingly unconscious and injured man three months prior. How much of that conversation _had_ Kenny overheard? How much did he remember?

Kyle had honestly hoped for sometime now that the unexpected peels of laughter had come from a dream of some kind or maybe that Kenny would forget the conversation as a dream.

"It's nice to ma-ma-meet you, your majesty." Jimmy had closed the distance between them while Stan and Kenny bickered, Kyle tried to smile as the man bowed low, "My na-name is Jimmy Valmer. I'm officially here as a diplomat to continue to di-d-discuss our continued peace."

Kyle forgot his own manners, eyes distractedly darting to the now play-fight occurring between his long time friend and the guy that saved his life, "And unofficially?" he managed.

Jimmy was smiling, and gestured at the two that had consumed all of his attention, "Yo-you know how the Qu-qu-Queen worries about her brother."

Babysitter then.

Kyle smiled sympathetically, "Sounds like a handful."

"I assure you, I'm quite ca-capable."

Despite himself, Kyle found himself liking Jimmy. He'd been so ready to dislike him.

Why exactly had he wanted to dislike Jimmy?

"Kingy! _Help_! Your lousy goof of a subordinate is trying to kill me! This could be considered an international incident, ya know!"

Oh. Right.

"I am _not_ ," how had Kenny spent five minutes here and already reduced Stan into a petulant child, "H-he said--!"

Kyle rubbed his forehead and decided he didn't want to hear how Kenny had baited the reaction out of Stan, "I'm going back inside. When you guys grow up and stop playing in the mud like children, you're free to join me."

He was immensely grateful that they'd decided to do this privately at the back gates. He didn't fancy having these shenanigans occur in front of the public.

It was a toss up how he felt about them staying out there as he made his way back. He decided that it was for the best. He needed time to collect himself.

At least he'd already experienced the worst. So he was a _little_ weak to Kenny's appearance. Now that he'd figured that out he could act accordingly to ensure it didn't get any worse.

\-- 

It got worse.

Kyle fought to remind himself that staring was rude.

It was a futile effort. All he'd wanted was some peace and quiet with his thoughts. Just sit in the gardens, have a glass of tea, and contemplate why the hell his heart stuttered at the sight of Kenny.

 _Sure_ , he was attractive. And _fine_ , he'd saved Kyle's life. And okay, _maybe_ they'd had some moments of bonding. But the time they'd spent together had been so short and full of adrenaline.

He knew it was only because of all the danger and drama that he'd gotten himself so wrapped up in Kenny. He had known and walked away from the situation.

And he _couldn't_ like Kenny. A factor everyone had forgotten was that Kenny _despised_ him. Barely a minute of their time together had been spent without Kenny throwing insults or accusations.

Kyle wasn't even sure how he'd held his temper at the time. A part of him knew because the severity of the situation had outweighed his personal discomfort, another part of him could barely blame Kenny's hatred of royalty after what he'd been through and lost.

Kyle knew a thing or two about loss.

The tangents were tangling up and giving him a headache that he had _really_ hoped the peace and quiet of his garden would alleviate.

But _no_.

There, across the garden, was his own personal guard playing tour guide to the their guests. Kyle shamefully realized that he _should_ be over there. At least on an official capacity Jimmy was there as a diplomat.

He figured it was probably a better idea to stay out of it though. He had emotions thrumming through him that he didn't understand and now he was gaping at the laughing blond.

 _Laughing_.

It was again shocking what a free sound it was. Nothing like the taunting little jeering chuckles that Kenny had previously reserved for Kyle.

A genuine and friendly laugh. To make matters worse Stan looked like he was enjoying himself too. Everyone was having a grand old time over there while Kyle stewed like a stranger in his own home.

Some part of him acknowledged he was being overly dramatic. It was fortunately the side in charge of decision making because he was rather confident that if it wasn't he would end up over there yelling at people.

 _Why_ was it when Kenny had finally seemed to chill out that now _he_ couldn't keep his cool? Maybe it was all the pent up frustration from dealing with Kenny's bitch-fits the last time they were together, he reasoned that it was a sound explanation.

"Oh, Kingy! What the hell are you doing over there?"

 _Rethinking my life choices_ , Kyle wanted to snipe.

He figured that was a bad idea though, people might ask what life choices he was reconsidering and that was just a whole _thing_.

Oh, and there was the source of all his internal strife jogging up and leaving Jimmy and Stan in the dust. Fucking great.

It would be the first time they were somewhat alone together since that time in the dungeon. Kyle felt a bit of rage spark at the memory.

"Haven't seen you since you greeted us this morning, where've you been hiding?"

Away from you.

Kyle offered a strained smile, "I _am_ a king, as you frequently remind me, there is an actual job to do."

Kenny snorted, "Don't pull that shit, Stan said you've got the entire day free unless there's an emergency of some kind," _damnit Stan_ , Kenny suddenly looked worried, "There wasn't an emergency, right? Because at that point I'm going to start wondering if calamity just follows you around, Kingy."

"No emergency, just, I forgot, some things. I didn't tell Stan. I just--I--I have to go."

And with that _eloquent_ statement he about faced and marched away. Burning face unable to look back at whatever Kenny's expression contained.

Oh, he was _not_ ready for this. 

\--

Meals were sometimes unavoidable. They didn’t always have to be grand affairs but there was some talk about welcoming the envoys of peace with open arms and a great feast.

Kyle wouldn’t have minded as much if some genius hadn’t placed Kenny _right next to him_.

He couldn’t run away. Oh god, he couldn’t run away.

Kenny wasn’t saying anything either, apparently too intent on the meal in front of him. It was surprising, somewhat, in the week they’d spent together neither of them had eaten much of anything.

Since his guide hadn’t complained Kyle had fought down the discomfort in his stomach like his life depended on it. He didn’t want to give Kenny yet _another_ reason to call him a ‘pompous spoiled brat’.

Still, when they did get their hands on food Kenny would give him most of it if not all of it. Kenny wouldn’t accept anything more and became an absolute dick if Kyle challenged it. In the interest of peace, Kyle dropped it.

It made it somewhat bizarre to watch Kenny pack it all down now. _Clearly_ the man had a love of food.

The implications were clear. In a survival situation Kenny had treated Kyle's life as more important. Given that there was no chance of it being emotionally motivated, given the hatred issue, that meant that it was an assessment Kenny had done based on their stations in life.

On a logical level he understood it was true. The king _had_ to survive or the consequences would be dire.

On an emotional level he felt a pang of resentment grow for his station in life.

Kenny wasn’t less important than him. Not because of his lineage or the hold he could have on a throne.

Kenny wasn’t less important.

Kenny, stuffing his face without a care in the world and looking stupidly handsome as he waltzed around like he owned the place. Kenny who gave up access to food and safety to stop war. Kenny whose harsh words never quite met up with his kind behavior. Kenny who was so warm—

The food in front of him was absolutely delicious. It would be an absolute shame to ignore the magnificent feast before him. Wow, what a wonderful life he led to have access to such things. It was just amazing that Kenny hadn’t commented on the social disparities about food distribution yet. Perhaps he should ensure some food was sent to a village or something.

Yep. That was kingly. He was a King. He should focus on leading a country and look at the food in front of him.

The heat in his face would fade with a good meal. 

\--

Stan looked to David for comfort. The elf only offered him a helpless shrug in return. Stan pinched the bridge of his nose.

It was like watching a game of cat and mouse except the cat was pouting and the mouse was low-key pissed.

Kyle entered a room. Kenny entered a room. Kyle would very quickly try to retreat. Kenny would intercede. Kyle would come up with increasingly ridiculous excuses. Kenny would passive-aggressively accept them. The both of them would leave the room.

It was becoming a _pattern_. Stan was half tempted to ask Jimmy to come up with a song to accompany it. The beats of it were familiar enough that it probably could be done.

And then afterwards the both of them would refuse to talk about it at all. Kenny’s preferred diversion was apparently to make lewd remarks and Kyle went for straightforward denial.

It would be funny if it wasn’t so stupid.

David patted his shoulder companionably as they watched the familiar scene play out, “Think of it this way, it’ll be over soon.”

Stan suppressed a groan at the thought, the only thing that was going to be worse than this ridiculous situation was when it ended and Kyle realized what an ass he’d made of himself.

Stan was anticipating upwards of three months of his king attempting to justify his behavior, losing that particular argument to himself, lamenting his own stupidity, and then perhaps in the final stage he would end up realizing with a horrified clarity that he’d completely screwed all chances he had with someone he was interested in.

If Stan had _any_ doubt about that previously it was completely thrown to the side by Kyle’s recent antics. He couldn’t say he knew Kenny well enough to make that same assessment on the other end but he trusted Karen’s reading of her own brother.

On cue the scene progressed, “Well, I have to get to paperwork about the boar problem and I would appreciate if you would get out of my face, okay?!”

“ _Fine_ , go have fun with your dumb pigs, _your highness_!”

Huffs and puffs and the two departed.

Yeah, Kyle was going to _hate_ himself when this was over.

He deeply considered getting himself reassigned to a different position for the next three months to avoid the fallout. 

\--

There was the king in the gardens. Minding his own business without a care in the world.

The guy came down here a lot. Probably a comfort thing.

Kenny snorted, it wasn’t like the guy lacked for comfort.

The sound attracted the unwanted attention of the royal prissy bitch brat and wide eyes were locked on his own.

This could be awkward. Should he greet him? No, that would just result in another repeat performance of stupidity.

Fucking royal prissy bitchface.

He was still staring and Kenny wanted to look away. He wasn’t one for poetic shit but there was something strange in the expression and it made the twenty or so feet between them seem quite a bit too far.

This was awkward. And dumb. Kenny would have no part of it. The king could be a bitchass royal but _he_ could find his voice and give him a piece of his mind.

His lips hadn’t even _parted_ before the king, a fucking _king_ of his own damn country for fucks sake, _ran away_.

Kenny couldn’t even move past the shock.

He _did not_. 

\--

The thing about avoiding royal guests in your own castle is that it's generally considered a _bad_ thing. Especially royal guests you owed your life to and ones that were here only shortly after tensions between the two countries were easing.

Even if Kyle was confident that his behavior wouldn't be taken as a pretense for war, it was still behavior that servants, guards, and the public would be uneasy about if they noticed.

This didn't stop Kyle from trying to avoid seeing or speaking to their guests for longer than absolutely necessary for two whole days.

Which was precisely why he was being stared down by one his most trusted commander feeling like a kid with his hand in the cookie jar.

Wendy's face was a vision of displeasure and disappointment. Not for the first time Kyle wondered if she was naturally so good at non-verbal cues of command and disapproval or if she'd practiced at it.

"Is there a _reason_ you seem like you're trying to cause a feud between two tentatively peaceful countries, Your Majesty?" her voice was sharp and Kyle felt himself sink in his chair.

"I'm not..."

The defense sounded weak in his own ears.

Wendy smiled in a way that didn't reach her eyes, "Then why, pray tell, have you been _quite obviously_ avoiding our guests, Your Majesty?"

Sometimes the way she said his title sounded accusatory. Here, more so than usual because it was a constant reminder of his position and all the reasons he _shouldn't_ be behaving like an idiot.

It was a losing pointless endeavor to keep things hidden from Wendy anyway. He'd never successfully kept anything from her before, she had a passion for the truth and despised secrets.

He let out a heavy sigh, "I don't mean to..." he held up a hand when her mouth opened to retort, "I know I am but I just... I don't know what to say? The last time we talked I told him he was a selfish bastard who only ever thinks about himself."

Some sympathy shown in her eyes but her arms were still crossed and her voice still steely, "Didn't you _want_ an opportunity to apologize over that? I distinctly remember your panic back then that he might die before you could retract your words. You have the opportunity now, what gives?"

Kyle groaned, "It's weird, okay? The entire thing is weird. We met under such insane circumstances a part of me wonders if the entire thing was a fever dream brought on by a near death experience. And I can't seem to hold my temper around him, he comes up like nothing ever happened calling me 'kingy' like the asshole he is and I can't figure out if I want to strangle him or--" he stopped himself just in time.

Wendy's expression didn't move but her eyes danced with amusement, he hated how expressive she could be with them, "Or?" she pressed.

"Y-yell at him." Kyle lied, obviously.

For the first time since she'd dragged him into this unpleasant encounter, Wendy took a seat, posture releasing some of the previous tension.

"Kyle. How long have we known each other?"

That was a sincerely difficult question. Trying to place a time in his life when he didn't have Stan or Wendy was likely somewhat impossible. Not to say there weren't gaps in the relationship but they had always been there in some capacity.

Kyle knew what answer she was aiming for though, "Most of our lives."

"And do you think for one fucking minute you can actually bullshit me?"

Kyle sighed, his life would be an easier one if he could. At least Stan would pretend to be bullshitted in the interest of avoiding conflict. Wendy approached conflict with a ferocity that rivaled his own.

"No..."

Her expression softened, "Then talk to me. What has you so uneasy that you're being such a dumbass bitch?"

Wendy didn't swear often but when she did it was always in that soft even tone that made you wonder if she'd really asked who the 'backstabbing whore' was.

But her cussing was always a sure sign that she wasn't going to let an issue go.

"I really... don't know actually. That's one of the reasons I'm avoiding him. I can't pinpoint or control my own emotions and it's making me panic a little. I'm still mad at him for some of the things that happened, to be honest. I'm also... I _might_ find him more attractive that I remembered and that's also confusing... I just don't know, Wendy."

She offered him a comforting smile and rested a hand on his knee, he wondered why he hadn't just consulted her earlier. It was nice to just get it out and talk to someone that wasn't going to judge him or immediately assume he was in love.

Her voice was sugary sweet when she spoke, "Sounds like you need to stop being a bitchass wimp and just fucking talk it out with him."

Ah, _that_ was why. Wendy was firmly in the camp of communication, solutions, and not being a bitchass wimp.

The grip on his knee was _just_ touch tighter than friendly and into the category of warning. She was making it clear he didn't have a choice in the matter. He wondered, briefly, if referring to their difference in status would encourage her to let the matter slide.

In that brief moment of those consideration he had visions of rebellion and a kings head on a stick.

Listening to Wendy was usually the best course of action. 

\--

_He was close._

_Stupidly close._

_Kyle didn’t dare close the distance or pull away. It was the first time he’d been in such close proximity to his uppity companion._

_A head rested on his shoulder, “Let’s wait just a bit longer to be sure.”_

_He nodded, swallowing back his speeding pulse. He didn’t do well with all this undercover work._

_It made his heart race in a way he wasn’t all that familiar with. What was he annoyed with again earlier? He decided it didn’t matter._

_The world was soft, for just a moment, and he didn’t really want to let it go._

_Kenny was always hard edges and harsh reality and it was so rare for anything around him to feel so soft._

_The breath on his shoulder was deep and even, Kyle was half wondering if he’d fallen asleep._

_“Kenny?”_

_And the moment ended._

_Kyle felt his stomach toss uncomfortably. Would he ever have another soft moment with him?_

_…did he want another one?_  

\--

Well, that was one half of an equation.

Now to deal with the other moron.

Kenny wasn’t hard to find. He spent a lot of his time visiting the same spots. She wondered if garden reminded him of home somehow or the opposite, a sight he wouldn’t be able to see otherwise.

If he wasn’t there it was almost guaranteed he would be chatting up the maids or cooks, occasionally harassing guards as they worked. David had complained to her twice now about being bothered in the line of duty.

No one really minded Kenny though. It was interesting that in a castle full of splendor he seemed to always seek out the least magnificent but she knew he had his reasons.

Now if only he wasn’t completely incapable of handling the king without fireworks running amok between them.

Kenny wasn’t really helping the situation. Sure, Kyle was being a dumbass but Kenny’s response was usually to toss insults and unappreciated nicknames.

“Wendy! What brings you out on this lovely day, my terrifying friend?”

She preened, just a little, that was the other thing about Kenny. He knew how to compliment. She wasn’t sure _how_ he’d noticed but he’d somehow put together that she enjoyed being referred to with some level of fear.

He had half the maids and a good portion of guards in his pocket with that same skill. He’d find what they wanted to hear and then use it in their address.

It was the exact opposite of his treatment of her king.

“Here to see you, actually.” She answered, keeping her voice light and even. He tensed regardless. Ugh, the guy must have a sixth sense for conversations he didn’t want to have.

“Is it about the orgy with the guards? Because I _swear_ there was only one, no two, pigs involved…”

She almost fell for it. The exclamation about _what orgy_ and _why pigs_ only hiding away with the knowledge that this was exactly how he dodged all conversations.

It was very likely there was no orgy and no pigs.

…very likely but still not impossible, she noted mentally to investigate later.

“No, it’s about the king—“

“ _Kingy was there too_?! Oh my god, he should have told me, we could have split a pig.”

She tried, she _really_ tried not to envision the picture he was painting in order to distract her. It was challenging in more ways than one. One of the challenges was ignoring how convincing he could sound in such an outright lie.

“Cut me off one more time, _Kenneth_ , and you won’t ever be able to participate in any sexual acts again in your entire life.”

 _That_ finally seemed to force him to accept his fate. He let out a deep sigh and swung backwards to lie on the grass, face becoming obscured by some of the plants that were behind him.

“ _Fine_ , what do you wanna talk about, Wendy?”

“How do you feel about Kyle?” she forego titles for a moment in the interest of not reminding him about the other man's status, “And don’t fuck with me, I don’t have the patience for it right now.”

Another long-suffering sigh from the boy.

“I think that people need to stop assuming we have a grand romance or someshit. He’s a royal asshole and I’m an angry peasant, simple as that.”

“That doesn’t answer my question.”

The lump on the ground groaned like a child, “Why should I tell you?”

“Because I’m sick of this bullshit and I want to know what you think. I’m putting an end to this situation, one way or another, and I wanted to know how you felt before I did anything.” The threat in her tone was real but the request for his true feelings was as well. She knew he’d noticed that.

There was silence for long enough that she wondered if she ought to prod him again. Patience rewarded her at last when he spoke, voice distant and quieter than usual.

“I feel… pissed. Really, really pissed. We’re not friends, we were unlikely allies at best, and even that was a bit strained… but I thought at the very least, he wouldn’t treat me like shit.”

He lapsed into silence again and Wendy almost thought that was all he’d say on the matter.

“…I don’t think he hates me and I don’t give a fuck even if he does,” she could snort at the bravado, “but some fucking common courtesy? Respect for a partner in a rough situation? I don’t like him much either but I at least _greet_ him without running away like a little bitch.” He laughed, “Hilariously, now he finally seems to fit those prissy bitchfit stereotypes of royalty that I couldn’t superimpose onto him before. I end up wondering if this is what he was the entire time and I’d been too—that the stress of the our little quest had blinded me.”

It was questionable whether Kenny remembered she was even there. It didn’t sound like he was talking to her anymore at all, instead his gaze was locked onto a flower over his head.

She decided to remind him, “So you want him to talk to you?”

He startled a little bit at the question but still didn’t look away from his chosen flower, “I don’t know.”

What did Wendy do to get stuck dealing with two obtuse morons without a shred of guts between the two of them?

“Hm… well I guess it can’t be helped.” Wendy said.

He finally looked at her and she congratulated herself on a straight face, “I mean, if the two of you are too busy being bitchass pussies to have an adult conversation, there’s really nothing that can be done.”

“Hey, Kingy is the one being a bitchass royal coward.” Kenny complained. Hook, line, and sinker. Wendy very purposefully didn’t smile.

“Sure.”

And she left him. 

\--

Kyle didn't have time to follow Wendy's advice (command) before he was jumped by Jimmy in the library, not even an hour later.

"Th-ther-there you are, Your Highness. I was wo-wondering if I could get some of your time?"

Kyle hoped his practiced political smile wasn't cracking, he'd really wanted some time to himself to work out a game plan, "Yes, of course. Please have a seat," he guided the man gently to the chairs, taking one himself, "What was it you needed?"

"As you know, I am here at least an o-off-officiaa-official capacity as a diplomat. The Queen sent me because I have a uni-unique talent to help ease tensions between our nations."

Kyle's eyebrows knit together, trying to discern the point that was being made, but he nodded for Jimmy to proceed.

"I am a bard, you see, and one of the things I do is provide music and spr-spureee-spread news to the people." Jimmy was smiling amiably enough but Kyle had a feeling he wasn't going to like the direction this was taking, "And it is my solemn duty to tell the truth as a I see it. Often many people in my country have no political knowledge or an interest in getting involved, they only repeat what they've he-hea-heard."

"And you distil the information into song to make news and information travel easier." Kyle surmised, a bit impressed with the responsibility. "It's an impressive skill you have, but why are you telling me?"

"I would like to be cle-clea-cleaa-cleaa-clear that I mean no impertinence by saying this, You Highness," Kyle nodded, slightly puzzled, "But as I've said, my duty is to the truth. And while for the most part your kingdom has been welcoming and kind, I am finding your beh-behavior quite a puzzle. I would like to dis-disregard it and focus on details that would help hea-hea-heal our countries, but I can't."

"Why not?"

Jimmy's eyes held such depths of sleepless frustration, "Be-because my companion will not _shut up_ about you."

Kyle's eyebrows shot up, "Excuse me?"

"I have been tr-trying to focus on composing but every time I feel as though I am making p-progress, Kenny is bu-bursting into my room to complain about your re-reh-reeehhhh...recent behavior."

"Oh..." Kyle found a spot on the ground very interesting all of a sudden.

"As I und-understood the events that occurred between the two of you, I was su-su-sure you were on good terms. As it is the chorus of my ev-every song is now amess with ' _that stupid royal bastard who the fuck does he think he is to avoid me I'm going to show him_ '." Jimmy sung the quotation to drive home his point.

"I… I wouldn't think he'd mind, he always said that he never wanted to see me again after everything." Kyle protested, still looking at the ground, "I know things didn't end up quite the way either of us thought they would but--" Kyle caught himself, realizing he was revealing more than he'd like to, "You have my sincerest apology, I hadn't realized that my behavior had impacted your ability to fulfill your duties. I will amend the situation."

Jimmy accepted the apology graciously and Kyle was trapped with a new problem.

Both Wendy and Jimmy now insisting he make peace with Kenny. How did he even go about that?

And why _was_ Kenny upset over it? 

\--

"So, Kyle."

Kyle didn't think he was going to get a moment's peace all day. First Wendy interrogating him in a study, then the bard jumping him in the library, and now Stan in his own room. There was truly no escape.

Kyle snapped, "If it's about Kenny, _yes_ , I know I shouldn't be avoiding him and _yes_ , I'll fix it as soon as possible! Can I _please_ just get a moment to hear myself _think_?"

Stan had taken a full step back in surprise, hands raised in defense, "I was just here to ask you if you've seen Wendy. She's been impossible to locate all day."

Oh, and now he felt like an asshole for snapping at Stan. Great.

"Should have tried living my day, you would have had more than enough of her." Kyle sighed.

"She ripped into you over Kenny?" Stan guessed, smiling sympathetically.

"She's right. I know she's _right_ , but she didn't have to call me a bitchass wimp."

Stan nodded knowingly, "She can be a bit harsh."

The understatement allowed them both to chuckle and Kyle felt some of his earlier tension release. Stan was a good friend.

"She is right though, you really do need to stop being a bitchass wimp about the Kenny thing."

Nevermind. Stan belonged in the damn stables shoveling poop for the rest of his days. Kyle would see to it personally. 

\--

Dinner tonight, Kyle finally decided, dinner tonight was when he would calmly approach the object of his anxiety and ask if they could talk. He'd take them on a walk through the gardens and seat them by his favorite tree and start by explaining how grateful he was for everything Kenny had done.

And then he could smoothly segue into his own behavior and apologize appropriately. Afterwards they could part on amicable terms and no one would call him a bitchass. Well, Kenny might, but Kyle had already realized it was probably a lost cause to ask for any form of respect from the guy.

It had only taken the remainder of his afternoon to plan. He'd had Stan stand guard at his door to ensure that he didn't get ambushed by anyone else before he'd collected his thoughts.

That was why he'd had no suspicion about the soft knock on his door, if it was someone Stan had let pass they had to either be there on important matters or at the very least matters completely unrelated to Kenny.

"You may enter," he called, barely looking up from his plans. He'd written a speech he had to memorize after all.

The door clicked open gently and Kyle was just looking up from his work as it latched shut behind the new party.

He never should've granted Stan any leniency and immediately sent him to the stables.

"So, Kingy.” The voice was sugary sweet, “Care to fucking explain what the _hell_ crawled up your ass and died?"

"What is _with_ you and skirts?!"

Kenny shrugged, "Stan wouldn't let me through earlier so I got changed," Kenny lifted a tray of tea that Kyle had previously missed, "Told you man, maids have an all-access pass."

"And Stan didn't _recognize_ you?!"

The blond 'maid' held a hand to his chest in shock, "After everything you've seen me pull off, you thought I couldn't fool _Stan_? I'm offended."

There. That flippant and mocking attitude and _everyone_ bothering him today and--

"No, _I'm_ offended! Why are you barging into my room anyway?! I thought you never wanted to see or talk to me again, why are you always so--ARGH--!"

He gave up on sentences, turning away to glare down at the papers at his desk. Oh. There was the speech he wrote.

Kenny's voice sounded both confused and agitated, "Is _that_ why you've been avoiding me?"

"No--maybe--I haven't been avoiding you--"

"Sure." Kenny said flatly.

"--I _haven't_ , I've just been trying to collect my thoughts and you make that hard!"

Kenny's silence was unnerving and Kyle wanted to turn and see his expression, at the same time he would very much like to hide under his own bed and ask the would-be maid to please leave.

And it just wasn't _fair_ that Kenny looked as attractive as a maid as he did as a gentlemen.

Kenny's voice was closer than he was really comfortable with when it spoke again, "What thoughts are you collecting?"

He couldn't read that voice. Damnit. He could never read Kenny very well.

" _Thoughts_ , okay?!" Kyle snapped, hurriedly pushing his foiled reconciliation plans out of sight, "I'm a busy person."

Kenny was still uncomfortably silent and Kyle finally cracked and looked to see what he could determine from expression.

Unreadable blue eyes and a puzzled frown on a soft face. It was still bizarre somehow to see the tension that had driven Kenny to every limit eased.

It made him feel like he was looking at a stranger.

Kenny held his gaze evenly and Kyle wondered if he should look away. He remembered Wendy's assessment and decided against it. He could look at that face unflinchingly and ignore the way his central nervous system was throwing a fit.

Kenny spoke first, voice a bit lower than Kyle was ready for, "Kyle."

It was the first time Kenny had said his name in a way that didn't sound like an insult.

It was low and simple. Just an address. It was probably a plea for an actual explanation instead of the bullshit Kyle knew he was full of right now.

All the same he couldn't help the way his heart leapt to his throat.

He didn't know what to say. He tried to remember his speech.

"I've been avoiding you." he admitted, "I'm sorry. You don't deserve that after everything we—you—after everything."

Kenny's eyes were still unknown depths of blue. Kyle kind of hated him.

"Why?"

It was simple question, a bit of a shock from the way Kenny could ask such wordy and insulting questions with a smarmy smirk.

"I... I don't know."

"Bullshit."

Some fire rekindled and he met Kenny's gaze with a bit of his usual spark, rising to his feet, "Why are you here, Kenny? I'll tell you if you explain that to me."

"Karen made--"

"No, why are you here. Right now. In my room. Dressed up just to sneak passed my personal guard. Why are you here asking me questions when I was under the impression that you wanted nothing to do with me."

Kenny shifted, "Because you pissed me off with your prissy ass king bullshit."

Kyle's eyes narrowed, "Bullshit." it felt good to be the one calling it for once.

Kenny was glaring now and it was oddly comforting in that it was at least familiar. Unfortunately it didn't last long before Kenny let out a deep sigh, "This is dumb."

"Excuse m--"

He didn't have time to finish, Kenny closed the distance between them with that same ridiculous graceful swiftness that Kyle couldn't help but be mesmerized with. He barely registered the fingers wrapped around the collar of his robe before he was pulled down to Kenny's face.

His world slowed and air seemed impossible to grasp, Kenny's eyes were burning and he could feel breath tickling his face. His eyes darted down to Kenny's mouth outside of his control.

"Kyle," the voice wasn't threatening and it had an emotion in it that would give him a heart attack, "What do you know about me?"

He couldn't do anything but answer, his brain had shut-down entirely and he couldn't for the life of him place this conversation into a world that made sense, "You're... Kenny." he gulped, "You're stupidly brave and ridiculously over the top. Petty as fuck too. Kind of an asshole."

Kenny's lips ticked upwards and had he really glanced down at them again?

"I think you're stupid in all the strangest places but quick on your feet, interesting, and an utter royal bastard." Emotion still coated Kenny's voice and Kyle had to fight to breathe, "But you know what else?"

Kyle gulped, _actually_ gulped, "What?"

"You're really and _ridiculously_ hard to hate. I think I hate you for it."

And suddenly there was no gap between their lips.

\--

He didn’t want to see Kingy because of a lot of reasons.

None of which he wanted to go into.

The first and most important reason was because he _really_ wanted to see Kyle.

And that just _had_ to be bad for the heart, right?

**Author's Note:**

> ok im actually rlly sorry about this XD my original intention was just a fluffy and sweet 'oh kyle stays by his side as he heals and they talk and have people feelings and its all cute and gentle and shit' and tbh i kinda regret not writing that fic because it sounds cute af and it also wouldnt have taken me SO MANY DAMN PAGES gdi, i love these two but i also hate them omgoooddd.
> 
> anywho, there are a few reasons that i decided to go this direction instead and one of them is because i started developing the karenxtricia thing that i wasnt even sure i would write and this is kinda made to fit into that timeline >x>;;;; (things are happening while kenny is away)  
> (also lowkey thinking of some other offscreen creek >x>;;; )  
> (also i know jimmy is supposed to be an elf and stuff but i swear i have reasons for this)
> 
> imma srsly try and finish some other projects before i pick this one up again tho XD but theres just still a lot of stuff going on that i dont mention lol
> 
> i was originally intending to limit myself to kyle's pov but i didnt because he got too poetic omg. he's all 'oh, the golden flakes of sun that are his hair!' and im like 'kyle, dude, chill. just like. chill. geez, i need stan. STAN GET OFF YOUR ASS AND CONTRIBUTE OR I STG I'LL MAKE KYLE GO THROUGH WITH HIS THREATS OF DEMOTION' from there it was out of my hands  
> (I highkey hc that kyle puts more stock in physical appearance than kenny lol and he would deny the fuck out of it if you asked)  
> ((kennys description: thats hawt, lol.  
> kyles description: the moonlit shone, a new word birthed in my mind to express the magnitude of beauty i was witnessing. the blue of his eyes consumed me entirely and all i felt my sense of reality spiral away.))
> 
> Thank you to everyone that read this through and I'm sorry it wasn't more romantic, fluffy, or even plotty >x>;;;;; at least they kissed? (im sorry)


End file.
